It’s been a while, but I’m sure you all remember the drill. You will be dying on Monday as a result of too much douchebag exposure from attending this. You have 4 days left on planet Earth to see shows. Here are the 4 you should see (according to us).

THURSDAY — The Irresistible Rise of Big Daddy Ubu

This new production from our friends at Nimbus, looks to be pretty interesting. In their description, the character of Big Daddy Ubu is “a killer who’ll stop at nothing to overthrow the rival Artichoke Alliance”. So…there you go. 8pm at the Theatre Garage.

FRIDAY — Old Wicked Songs

Theater Latte Da has a knack for kicking out great productions, so I’m going to go ahead and assume that this one’s no different. You’ll have to make your way over to Guthrie Corporation (Dowling Studio) by 7:30pm to see this one. You’ll get to see another Peter Rothstein production and bask in the glow of Big Daddy Tyrone. Double score!

SATURDAY — TOUCH

Urban Samurai is one of my favorite indie companies. And after seeing their Fringe hit Musical the Musical, I’d go see Little House on the Prairie if they were somehow connected to it. Yes…I like them that much! So it comes as no surprise that your Saturday choice is TOUCH, directed by Paul Von Stoetzel, and playing over at the Cedar Riverside People’s Center (it’s back!) at 7:30pm.

SUNDAY — Vinegar Tom

Do you love Caryl Churchill? Yes, you do. Do you love Wendy Knox? Yes, you do. Do you love Frank Theatre? Yes. Yes, you do. And that, my soon-to-be-deceased friends, is why you must make this your last show before death. Sprinkle in a little Virginia Burke and a dash of Emily Gunyou Halaas, and you just can’t miss with this one. 2pm at the Ritz.

Show To See If You’d Rather Just Kill Yourself: WELLSTONE! at the Sabes JCC. Not only is this another rehash, but it’s a rehash from the most boring theatre in the Twin Cities. Plus, we already know how it ends.