Okay, gang. As you may or may not have noticed, we’ve been a little slow getting things up lately. It’s Fringe’s fault. After seeing as many shows as we did, you’d need a break, too. So sue us. But now that I’ve had a little time to relax (read the horrible Little House reviews, watch some Olympic coverage), I’m ready to jump right back into the FringeFamous mix.

So the Fringe was great, yes? Shows seemed better than normal, attendance was up, Robin Gillette was working her thang in that little black dress. It was a great theatre festival. But next year, it could even be better. Here’s how:

• Blue Chip Shows — Why not have a few slots reserved for the previous year’s Top 10 most-attended shows? Let’s just say…oh, five. All ten companies (if they apply for a slot) go into the Top Sellers Lottery and compete against fate for those five Fringe slots. If they don’t get it, they go into the General Lottery. This would assure the Fringe of five companies who have at least a tiny amount of a good Fringe track record. Also, it would give the companies another fun reward for having a show that rocked in the previous year.
• Buck the Button — Oh, button…you’ve served us so well. You’ve been our friend when we needed to show our Fringe love. You carried us when we didn’t want to spend those two extra dollars to see that Mixed Blood production. You’ve been a great companion…but now it’s time to get the fuck out. Ladies and gentlemen, let us welcome our new BFF…the Fringe Passport. Sure the button might be a little cheaper to produce. But how cool would it be to carry around a little Fringe Passport? You buy a ticket, they plop down that show’s stamp in your Passport. Now when you get the whole “what have you seen” spiel while waiting in line for Scrimshaw’s new Ibsen hip-hop trampoline show, you can simply pull out your Fringe Passport and show the nosy bastards! Plus, it’d be a nice little keepsake forever and ever. Aw.
• Reward the Ultra Pass — $157 or whatever it is to buy an Ultra Pass is crazy! These people are Fringe nut jobs. They’re insane with the Fringe. So why are they still standing in the gigantic lines with all those lame $12 groudlings? They should be eating cake and sipping on gin and tonics while having their backs rubbed by the nearest Fringe volunteer. Or…at least give them their own line. Yes, the Ultra Pass line. Brilliant.
• Watch the BYOV — The Bring Your Own Venue is teetering on the line of being a joke. Companies have stopped using the BYOV for interesting shows that take you around town in a car, or leave you watching actors drown in a pool. Instead, they’re starting to use the BYOV as an easy way to assure themselves a place in the festival. No more. Start combing these applicants for any trace of foul play. Require them to submit a hard-core outline of their show…maybe even a good portion of the script. Be absolutely sure everything’s on the up-and-up. Make them work for that assured slot.
• To Blog or Not to Blog — As a frequent blog-reader, this was a weird year for the Fringe. They seemed to not want any part of blogs, yet they also wanted to have their own. There was a kind of “yes we do, no we don’t” quality to it that became a little confusing. Not only should the Fringe definitely have a blog, but it should be one of the most prominent things on the website. Get that thing front and center. Remind people every day where it is and what’s on it. If it truly is a Staff Blog, include the entire staff. Require them to contribute at certain points during the festival. Give people constant updates on how the festival is selling, what last night’s party was like, and how to get to the FringeFamous blog…what?

Bam! Fringe is now at least 38% better than it was pre-this post. No need to thank me. Just sit back and soak in the awesome.