Well, well, well…it seems you’ve been safe and sound for a couple of weeks. It’s time to change all that. This will happen to you on Monday. I’d see these shows before then if I were you.

THURSDAY — The Government Inspector

Guthrie Corp. has put together a top-notch cast (per usual) for this new adaptation by local fave, Jeffrey Hatcher. This being your last Thursday on planet Earth, you can prob’ly afford to spend $38 on a ticket to this 7:30pm show. You can spend the money you were saving for Little House (“the line is freakin’ out the door!”).

FRIDAY — Stare Down: A Tarantino Make ‘Em Up

7pm is the time, and BLB is the place for this crazy, improv extravaganza. Something called Close and Quartered presents this all-improvised Tarantino movie…on stage. They promise violence and vulgarity, so you can make up for your night at Guthrie Corp.

SATURDAY — MN Fringe Festival Kids Show Preview

You’ll be dead, so you won’t get to see any Fringe shows. This is sad…until you realize that you can see a 1pm Kids Show Preview at the Prior Lake Library. This kick-ass motherfucker starts at 1pm. If you don’t have a kid under 12 years of age, just swing by a playground and grab one on your way.

SUNDAY — and they said I wouldn’t make it

This 7pm one-man show, featuring Samuel G. Roberson, Jr., is part of Illusion Theater’s 2008 Fresh Ink series. It’s the true story of how Roberson survived childhood illness and went on to become a CTC actor. And they said it couldn’t be done…

Show To See If You’d Rather Just Kill Yourself: The Count of Monte Cristo at the Minnesota Centennial Showboat. What? It can’t be Chanhassen every time.