Unfortunately, after years of battling this, you will finally die on Monday. On the bright side, there are some good shows to see between now and then.

THURSDAY — The Gin Game

I know, I know. I was on the Jungle’s case yesterday for this show being too “old”…but hey, you have a massive goiter so you’ll fit right in. Show starts at 7:30, grandma.

FRIDAY — Sherlock Holmes: The Final Adventure

7:30pm. Steve Hendrickson. Bob Davis. E.J. Subkoviak. Virginia Burke. It’d should be difficult to mess this one up…even for the mongoloids at Park Square Theatre.

SATURDAY — Harvey

8pm at Theatre in the Round. I dunno…it’s Harvey. What more do you want from me?

SUNDAY — My Variety Show III

At 8pm at the Bryant Lake Bowl, you can catch this…um…well, I guess it’s a variety show. They describe themselves as “often hilarious”, and by the looks of it, they’ve done this twice before. It’s possible that it may be just good enough, or suck just enough to be absolutely worth the $15.

Show To See If You’d Rather Just Kill Yourself: A Midsummer Night’s Dream at the Guthrie. I’m so predictable.