The last time I was picking through The Callboard (which is a super-secret local theatre discussion board where everything discussed is kept extremely hush-hush and never talked about outside of the website — shhhhhhh), I noticed a thread with the topic of how best to “revitalize” audiences; and more specifically, how to develop a younger audience of future theatre-goers.

Ideas for why this was difficult ranged from audiences not being intelligent enough for live theatre, to plays being too “talky”. One guy even said that it was a problem of amplification. Yes. Audiences are turned off to live theatre because the actors’ voices are artificially amplified.

Whaaaaaa??

Here’s where I will pipe in (because I always do) and say that the answer to the question “why are audiences of live theatre getting older and older and older” is because THEATRE IS BORING.

Take, for example, the current show at the Jungle, The Gin Game by D.L. Coburn. “Bain Boehlke and Wendy Lehr are back onstage as two inhabitants of a seedy nursing home” is just a portion of the play’s description from the Jungle’s website. Right across from that description? “$26-$36 with discounts for Seniors, Students, and Groups of 6 or more”.

The key word there: students. Students? What students? How many normal human beings (ie — not connected with this production or the theatre community) who are under the age of 35 can we expect to attend a performance of this show? I don’t know the answer to that, but I expect I could probably count the number on one hand.

In fact, there’s only one…maybe two shows in the current Jungle season that I could see drawing a even a noticeable number of pre-35 year-olds. Aside from that one…maybe two shows, there’s nothing on the ticket to excite young people to attend live theatre at the Jungle.

So how do you draw those 18-35 year-old crowds? Well, you could start by doing fun, exciting shows. And I’m not talking about what’s fun and exciting for the 63 year-old Artistic Director. If theatres want to attract youthful audiences, they have to start thinking like youthful people. The only place in town that does this on a consistent basis is the Brave New Workshop. Check out their crowds sometime. They are building an audience of future improv-attenders. Their audiences are developing live-performance-attending habits. The Brave New Workshop will have an audience 25 years from now, no question about it.

Just off the top of my head, here’s a list of shows I think would probably draw quite a few young people but have yet to be done in town:

• Reefer Madness
• A Very Merry Unauthorized Children’s Scientology Pageant
• The Jammer
• Evil Dead The Musical
• Anything by Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa

To be fair, some local companies have tried to push the envelop a bit in the past. Fifty Foot Penguin did Debbie Does Dallas the Musical, Cannibal! The Musical was done by The Mechanical Division, and No Refunds Theatre has kept it real with several shows geared toward youthful crowds. Even Walking Shadow Theatre Company is getting the idea with their upcoming Fringe Festival show Shakespeare’s Land of the Dead. But these types of shows are few and far between.

Just take a quick scan of the local theatre scene. How many current shows do you see that would raise the eyebrows of the average college-aged person?

Live theatre doesn’t need to change. The people in charge of live theatre do.